Category:

Marriage

What is Your Love Language?

by Bogie April 11, 2020

The Five Love Languages are a concept developed by marriage counselor Gary Chapman. It is based on his anecdotal research from thirty years of doing marriage counseling.

The five love languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Furthermore, hearing the words “I love you,” are important. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2. Acts of Service

Whatever you do for someone can be an expression of love? Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.

3. Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism. This means, the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4. Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.

5. Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Moreover, hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love.

Why is it important?

Knowing your love language will enable you to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment. Added to that, it will give you the opportunity to effectively communicate your emotional needs as well as meeting the emotional needs of your partner and your children.

My Love Language

My love language is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. This means, unsolicited compliments mean the world to me. I find this true for myself because I always believe that words have power. Kind, encouraging, positive words are truly life-changing.

“Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” – Proverbs 16:24

Know Your Love Language

So what is your love language? Take the 5 Love Languages Profile. I suggest you take it with your partner. Answer it separately and then come together and discuss your test results. This will help you learn how to meet the emotional need of your partner by knowing her love language. Last night, I have learned that my husband’s love language is ACTS OF SERVICE and since then I have decided to do anything for him and offer help in case he needs it.

If you don’t have a partner, do not worry. You can take the 5 Love Languages Profile for Singles. There’s even for teens and children too.

Day 11 of the 30 Day-Blogging Challenge done!

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How to Win Your Partner

by Bogie August 13, 2012

Married couples have a lot of adjustments to make for keeping a healthy married life. It is a 24 hours a day and 7 days a week of changing yourself in order to become the right partner for each other. That is why sometimes we find ourselves to have misunderstandings even to the least important matters. Wives tend to be sensitive to certain issues and sometimes get too emotional. One example of this is when husbands spend more time on their workplace and has no more time with their wives, expectedly the wife reacts. What would you do if situation like this occurs?

If a situation like this happens, it’s time to win your partner around. Winning your partner is like having a Victory Hair. A victory hair is like when both couples have the same nice looking styled hair, and as they looked at each other magic happens between the two of them. In the process their hair gets pretty messed up but still they look good with each other because they are both happy.

For husbands, here’s how you can win your wife. There can be many steps but these three are the steps I find effective.

Step 1: Talk to your wife and admit your faults and weaknesses. Don’t forget to mention the word “I’m sorry” even if you think you are not at fault at all. Say it and mean it.

Step 2: Spend Time with your wife. As the author of an article said, couples believe that finding “extra” time “just to be together” is about as likely as walking out in the backyard and finding a one-carat gemstone. Make sure that you protect this time from all invaders and marauders, which include the phone, work, household chores, and of course your children.

Step 3: Make your wife a priority. God has given you a marriage, and keeping connected with your spouse is very important—and it takes time as well. If you are too busy to spend time with your spouse, then you are too busy.

Why don’t you try these steps and be excited to see a happy marriage working.

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I Deserve It!

by Bogie August 8, 2010

Hubby and I had our morning devotion today. We read the book “Night Light” a Devotional for Couples by Dr. James and Shirley Dobson. It was a book given to me by my cousin Lalaine. We go through the topic “I DESERVE IT!”. One of the great learnings we had this morning is we oftentimes think of the things we deserve in our marriage. In most cases resentment can build over who works the hardest, who spends more, who is not doing enough and this could lead to anger. But this is not what God wants in our marriages.

As the author states on this book… “Beware of this trap. The minute we begin thinking that we are entitled to more, we’ve started down the slippery road to selfishness. It can devastate a relationship.”

I am thankful that me and my husband don’t have this “I Deserve Attitude” in our marriage. But still we prayed to God that he will help us not to entertain these thoughts if ever this kind of situation will come in our marriage.

If you if feel you’re experiencing this kind of problem in your marriage … check your heart today and talk to your spouse and pray about it.

Below are some of the questions you can discuss with your spouse:

Do you have the kind of love for your spouse that seeks to serve, not “deserve”?
Do you sometimes feel that you’re not getting what you deserve in your marriage?
Is selfishness a problem in your marriage.

“For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature.”- Galatians 5:17

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