Fatherless…

by Bogie
My father left us when I was still 4 years old, my elder brother 5 years old and my younger brother 2 years old. I can still remember the time he left us. It was Christmas day of 1983. I was excited then because Father is at home but only to find out that he will not be celebrating Christmas with us. It wasn’t a sad Christmas for me because I thought he will just be back. But Father never came back until then. 🙁

Eight years after, I met my father unexpectedly at an event at my aunt’s house. My brothers and I approached our father with a happy heart. We kissed him, even though it feels like kissing a stranger, but we were grateful that day that we met him. He promised us to have a fun day and promised to fetch us home on Monday. We were so excited of that promise and we hold on to it. Monday came but Father never came that day. We didn’t even see his shadow at all. After that incident, we never heard any news about him. We didn’t even heard any explanation why he never came that day.

Two years after and I am already a second year high school student. While I was at home, absent from my class due to my asthma. There was someone knocking on the door. As I opened it, it was my father. My heart beats faster and faster and I couldn’t explain what I am feeling. There was a mixed emotion on whether I should be happy that he came and at the same time I felt sad and angry deep inside. At the back of my mind I was thinking what is he doing here? But still my face showed a warm welcome smile to my father. We talked that day but only about shallow matters. He looked at the pictures in our photo album and he told me I looked good on the pictures. He also saw the picture of my mom, and he said mom looks happy. But as I was looking at him that day, I felt pity on him. He looked so dirty and it seems he doesn’t have a bath at all. I invited him for lunch and as I looked at him eating, I got the notion that he never had eaten for days. After the lunch he bid his goodbye.

My father went back home that night. I was afraid that he will really stay in the house for good. He came back for the reason that he wanted to see my brothers and borrowed some shirt from them. Maybe father was facing a hard time that day. Both my brothers are angry with him. They let him borrowed a shirt but my cousins are the one who gave the shirt. We invited him for dinner but we never ate with him only my uncles. After his dinner with my uncles he left.

We were living a simple life after that incident with only our mom supporting us. My mom is both the father and the mother at home. She’s a father when it comes to disciplining us, and she’s a mother when it comes to loving us. After I graduated college, I heard from the Director of the school I’m working before that my father called the office and is asking for financial assistance from us because he was terribly sick with diabetes. The director told my father that we are not anymore connected to his office. He also informed my father that my brother is already working in a fast food chain. My father called my brother’s workplace and was able to contact my brother. He visited my brother at the fast food chain. My brother asked his superior to have a short break because father will be coming. My brother’s eyes were never detached from the entrance door waiting for my father to come in. While looking at every person entering, he saw an old man with a cane in one hand. He was making fun of that old man and told his co-workers “here comes my father…” to his surprise; the old man was really our father. He really can’t believe it! (This seems to be like in the movies, but this is really true.) He welcomed father and asked him to eat what he likes. Father was asking for his forgiveness that day, and asked him to give him some financial assistance. My brother gladly helped my father. The money he gave was not big enough but I appreciated my brother’s gesture of forgiving our father.

We really don’t have that big grudge to our father. Mom was always there to remind us not to be bitter with him, because he is still our father no matter what. Even if he hasn’t spoke words of forgiveness to me, I have forgiven him a long time ago. According to my friend, my father already died due to sickness. I am not sure of this because we were not informed of his death, or even invited to his funeral. One thing I’m sure of, that wherever he is right now I don’t hold any resentment about him.

One thing I am holding on: “God is a Father to the Fatherless”. I thank God that even though I don’t have a father, His love is so real that I cannot feel the emptiness of a physical father.

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families… (NIV)
Psalm 68:5-6

You may also like

1 comment

Lalaine June 6, 2008 - 10:29 am

nakahilak ko da!

it’s a beautiful post gie..I admire your mom too for bringing you the best way she could and esp. teaching you not to hold grudges against your father.

Reply

Leave a Comment